Be THERE, or fail not trying.

Pet peeve number 1… also falls under the heading of it’s ridiculous I have to tell people this.

I see it all the time… quiet afternoon at the clinic? The sun’s out and you’re bored out of your skull? Time to flip the sign over to ‘closed’ and enjoy the afternoon!

Congratulations. You’ve just graduated to un-fucking-reliable.

Trust me, on some level I get it. If you’ve got nothing on the schedule why the hell would you just sit there and wait for the random possible walk-in? Simple…you don’t want to be the ass-clown who couldn’t make it in business because the patients were the only people showing up!

Consider this: have you ever walked up to a restaurant in town with their hours posted on the door, or the internet and they’re closed when they should be open? I have… and it reads like a Dr. Seuss story!

I walk up to my favorite place, my belly in knots; all I’ve eaten today is popcorn, some water and a box of Dippin’ Dots.

I grasp at the handle but it doesn’t budge- a twist and a turn then my shoulder leans in to give a slight nudge.

A grunt of curiosity as I investigate the door… “Am I using it wrong? Have I forgotten how to operate this object, maybe more?”

“Well shit,” I think, leaning to peer in the window for a sign of life… but all I can see is my own frustrated reflection, and that of my now angry wife.

What are their hours? Did I get this wrong? Where’s their sign? It’s right over here, mounted proudly on a plaque under a sadly unlit neon sign for beer!

“Arggggh, you restaurant. You jerks. What a scam! Now it’s back to my house for those damned green eggs and ham!”

Ok, admittedly, that was more fun than I thought it would be.

Regardless of my efforts at a fourth published poem, the events described have changed my impression of the business’ reliability, and given me a negative experience to boot. Practitioners operating like this rarely make the cut and ultimately close their doors, wallowing in their lack of success.

Unless you are a magical, traveling practitioner with your collapsible treatment-room-in-a-pocket waiting for patients to flag you down for medical help, you have got to be where you say you will be, WHEN you say you will be there! I would also point out that if you practice this way, then you are on your way to becoming a statistic: failing in business, blaming your school for a lack of proper education, and bitching that the economy didn’t support your wacky brand of business development.

See, now that I say it like that, it seems pretty silly to not be at your office, doesn’t it?

Look at your schedule for the past three weeks and find a consistent pattern in your best three to four days; when do people seem to want you the most? You are not going to please everyone here, so the goal is to determine a happy medium.

Take this information, set your new days and hours and post them. Put a copy in every treatment room, on your website or your clinic Facebook page, and even Tweet the changes to your army of followers.

Regardless to how you spend your time away from the clinic (and I’ve got ideas on that shit too!), stick to what you say. It’s not hard to be reliable folks. You’ve just got to BE THERE… or you will fail trying!

Originally created for ericsays.com: September 5, 2011