Sometimes you just need a little blood in your life

So You’re a Vampire, Eh?

My 14-lane brain is going at the speed of light this morning. I have a fairly busy day ahead, so I’ve learned to try and focus in on holding one firing neuron at a time and asking, “what are you all about, bud?” It’s the only way I know to get the voices to quiet down and start devoting their resources to the thing I’m looking at.

The one I grabbed onto a minute ago struck me not as odd, although a little off-topic for a slammed day of patients, was this:

If you HAD to be a vampire, and you only got to pick from the history of those written about or portrayed on screen/play, who would it be, and why?

Brain- Lane number four

I’ll admit that there are many times I simply through my freshly trapped thought back and try to hook another real quick like, but this one intrigued me.

First off, being a vampire could be sick as fuck, if you chose wisely. Going all the way back to Bram Stoker’s Dacula up to the more modern versions, such as presented in the Twilight series, Sookie Stackhouse Stories (later HBO’d as True Blood), and even more recently with that badass Nick Cage’s version in Renfield! Strong caveat here… I’m basically in love with everything my homie Nicky does, but I’m not sure I’d pick that one. He was kind of a dick.

I could take a deeper look at the litany of blood suckers in the (way too) long running Vampire Diaries and it’s spin-off, The Originals? Nah. If I could have been any, it wouldn’t have been ANY of the pussified fangers from VD… Stephan and his constantly scowling broody face – ugh… I just want to punch him in the man-berries until he gets over it! Out of eight years, the seven with Elana was too much for me, vampire or not!

But Niklaus? Hmmm… a vampire-werewolf hybrid? I may be convinced as long as we could avoid the entire storyline where they witchy sever the connection between him and all the vamps he created, basically making him fair game to white oak stake anytime you wanted was a shark jumper for me there.

Brief question

Another lane just raised it’s zappy little hand-thing… was Jesus a vampire? “Hey gang, go ahead… drink my blood and eat my body. I know it’s not Superbowl food, but try it – you’ll like it!”

Maybe a zombie vampire?

Who would you pick?

But enough about me. Who would you pick?

Honestly, I really like Kate Beckinsale’s ‘Selene’ from the Underworld series, but she couldn’t be my vampire girlfriend if I WAS her, so, I can’t do that one either.

Let me know your thoughts on this one. I’m interested to hear what my friends think about this. I (mostly) promise, no judgement!


Main photo courtesy of Dr. Daniel DesJardins: all rights retained by original author and me, since I’m in it.